


double.

by orphan_account



Series: formula one — ideas. [7]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotions, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Past Relationship(s), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:30:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21864634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: daniel is complicated but nico doesn't mind trying to figure him out.-×-not edited.
Relationships: Nico Hulkenberg/Daniel Ricciardo
Series: formula one — ideas. [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534301
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	double.

**Author's Note:**

> again, this is from forever ago and it's bad but you know that's my brand.

**double.**

Sure, Nico thought that Daniel was annoying. The Australian was always so loud and always had something to say, he was talkative in the way were you just want to shut him up. He couldn't stay still either, daniel was always bouncing and moving around, Nico just wanted to make him sit down and take a minute of calmness. Nico just wanted Daniel to be calmer.

Except he didn't. Daniel was loud, daniel was talkative, daniel couldn't sit still. Nico loved that about him. Daniel was loud, Nico liked that he wasn't ashamed of what he had to say. Daniel was talkative, Nico liked that he never had to guess what Daniel was thinking due to Daniel telling him with ease, it was a nice change, plus, Nico loved Daniel's accent so really, he loved when Daniel talked. Daniel couldn't sit still, Nico liked that about him. In a weird sense, Nico liked that all he had to do was kiss Daniel for Daniel to stop fidgeting, Daniel always moved where Nico wanted him to, he stilled.

It bothered Nico that even Daniel's 'flaws' were perfect, just like Daniel.

Daniel was all curly hair and soft smiles. All stupid jokes and childish imagination. All innocence and beauty. Daniel was beautiful which made him worse. He was such a tease as well. Nico remembers when they weren't dating, Daniel had flirted with anyone who even looked remotely interested with him but he never went through with it, Daniel winked at fans and smiled at interviewers. Daniel was teasing looks that begged for him to be ruined and tainted even though he already was. Daniel was corrupted innocence that was asking for his lasting innocence to be lost. Daniel was pretty and he was teasing and he was perfect. No wonder Nico fell for Daniel.

Daniel liked Nico's accent. Daniel had a weird thing for accents that weren't Australian. His old teammate, Max, was Dutch, Daniel really loved his accent, Nico was pretty sure that was the whole reason that Daniel gave Max a blow job that one time. He 'loved' French accents, Daniel's ex-boyfriend, Jean-Eric, was French with the matching French accent, and that relationship lasted way too long for Nico's liking. Whenever Nico messed around and talked in a very bad French accent just to have a little fun, Daniel grasped at him, practically begging to be fucked senseless and ruined till he could talk, and who was Nico to say no to someone so pretty? Daniel liked Nico's natural voice and accent, he'd said it before, confusing Nico. 

"You've a really nice voice, by the way." Daniel smiled at him. Nico turned to face him, they were sitting together at Nico's apartment living room.

"What makes you say that?" 

"I don't know." Daniel replies, but then goes on to explain that he does know why. "I was watching one of your interviews this morning and I just really noticed your voice. Your accent's sexy."

"Thanks, babe."

"That's hot." 

"What is?" Nico asked, he really didn't understand what was hot or attractive, they were just talking. 

"You calling me babe, I like it." Daniel explained, moving so he could be seated on Nico's lap. "Plus, with your accent, it's like 10 times hotter."

So, yeah, Nico was pretty sure that Daniel liked his accent. 

Nico remembers how annoyed he was at Daniel when Daniel got higher positions than him. It just proved that Daniel was talented, that made Daniel even more perfect. Daniel was good at his job, _fuck_, he was fantastic at his job. That made Nico mad, he wouldn't ever tell Daniel that now. 

"Why are you so mad, Ni? Its just a stupid fucking race! There's no need to get mad at me for doing better." Daniel was right but Nico was angry so reasonable conversations were out of the question. 

"You made me look like a fool. You're new and you already have everyone wrapped around your finger!" '_Me included_'. He didn't say the last part but he meant it at the moment. He wanted to take it all back the moment he saw Daniel's face. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice. It's understandable that you're mad. I shouldn't have started a fight." Daniel apologised. "I'm sorry. I'll let you get a better position next race, okay? Is that okay?" 

_'You don't need to apologise for being better than me'_ Nico wanted to say but he bit his tongue and hoped that it looked like he accepted the offer of an apology. 

What Nico was not expecting was for Daniel to kiss him. Nico wasn't complaining. He just didn't expect it. But, just when he got comfortable kissing back, Daniel dropped to his knees, offering something better than just kissing. And, who was Nico Hulkenberg to not accept a blowjob by the most beautiful boy in the world? Only a fool would say no to Daniel with his puppy eyes and gorgeous lips. 

_Puppy eyes and gorgeous lips_, if that didn't describe Daniel perfectly than Nico didn't know what did. Daniel was so pretty. Too pretty. Nico felt like he was a visitor at a museum and Daniel was one of the most beautiful artworks that had ever been. It felt surreal. Nico was the only one to get to touch Daniel. Sure, others had in the past but they didn't get to anymore, they had wasted their shot with perfection, Nico wasn't about to do the same. He was the only one that got to see Daniel come undone, he was the one that got to see Daniel when he was in pure bliss. 

Nico was also the one to pick up Daniel's pieces and put him back together again after a hard day or race. He was the one that had Daniel serious, it was like seeing the other side of the same coin. The dirty and unshown side. The side that Daniel doesn't like to show to anyone. Nico got to see it though, it made the moments of seriousness and sadness an intimate moment. Daniel didn't like to be serious, he much preferred making a joke about everything but every once and a while, the problems he had been ignoring caught up to him and he was left feeling hollow and empty. Nico could only smile and be there for him and hope that the shiny and bright side of Daniel would come back. 

Nico remembers when they started talking about their old teammates, Max and Carlos, he doesn't remember how they did but he remembered the conversation. It felt like ripping a bandage and the cut reopening and bleeding all over again. 

"I was scared that he was better than me." Daniel confessed. "He was, that's what made me feel worse. He's so young and he's so much better than me. It's insulting."

"I understand." Nico replied. Daniel glanced at him. Daniel was younger than Nico and he was much better than Nico, Carlos was younger than Nico and he was better than Nico. Nico knows that the young ones are the ones to look out for. 

"I'm sorry." Nico has no idea what Daniel is apologising for but he has a feeling he should.

Maybe Daniel wasn't apologising for something he did, maybe he's just getting it out of the way so when he does something, he has already apologised and can say '_I already told you this would happen_'. Nico hoped that's not why he was apologising. Daniel gave him a soft smile, not the happy, full of life and energy smile but the understanding and grateful smile that made Nico feel warm and loved. 

"I know you and Carlos were close. I didn't mean to ruin anything." Daniel said. To say that Nico was shocked was an understatement. 

"Well, we are so much closer." Nico replied. Nico and Carlos were friends, Daniel and Nico were dating. Huge difference. "Carlos never sucked my dick, nor did he date me. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Still, I feel bad."

"Don't."

"No promises."

"Besides, him and Lando are doing great together." Nico reassured. Daniel smiled at him again. 

"Okay." Daniel accepted. Then he was quiet, no useless talking, no complaining about something, no more words came from Daniel. He was just quiet. 

Nico liked when daniel was quiet, he liked when daniel was loud. Nico liked daniel, he could list out all the pros and cons of dating the mess of emotions that is Daniel Ricciardo, and the pros would way out the cons, even if there was more cons. Daniel was too much to lose, too much to not notice.

He demanded attention without meaning to, he shined a smile and everyone in the room would fall in love. They didn't know how much daniel couldn't handle a bad loss, they didn't know the crying and the self abuse, they didn't know the dark feeling that Daniel couldn't stop because he'd gotten too used to it. 

Nico liked when daniel was asleep, it seemed to be the only time that Daniel was calm, the only time were nico could easily protect daniel from himself. Daniel couldn't help himself, he needed someone to reach out and stop him before he hurt himself too badly.

Daniel liked being used, he craved the pain and the hurt. Nico couldn't ever do it, but when those puppy dog eyes and gorgeous lips are asking for nico to press just a bit harder, hurt daniel a bit more, he can't deny him. He kisses him like he wants to eat him, he touches him like he wants to leave bruises, he fucks him like he wants to break him, and Daniel takes it, he begs for it. Daniel doesn't understand that it's not okay to want to be hurt, he doesn't know that Nico feels guilty every time he sees the dark bruises. Daniel doesn't get it, Nico tries to tell him but it's like talking to a wall. Daniel doesn't understand that sex, drinking, hating yourself, not eating as punishment, wanting the pain because he thinks it helps him achieve if he wants it more, isn't healthy. He doesn't understand that bruises aren't good, teeth marks are suppose to hurt, that pain isn't good. He doesn't _get_ it.

Daniel likes pet names. He likes the 'baby', the 'sunshine', the 'sweetheart'. He likes all the nick names. It's cute. Sure, it gets a little on the annoying side if he's in one of his moods were he's annoyed with Nico and he won't talk to Nico, even with the help of pet names, that's super annoying.

"Baby, please talk to me."

nothing.

"Honey, I'm sorry, please." Nico tried again.

"I don't want to talk to you." Daniel whispered, his hands were shaking and his eyes were glassy. "Please stop. I'm not feeling good."

"What's wrong, doll?" Nico slide down so he could sit next to daniel on the floor.

"It— it just—" Daniel dug his palms into his eyes to stop himself from crying. "it's hurts, oh god," he shuddered almost like he was cold, "Why does it hurt so much, Nico, please help me."

"What do you want me to do, Sunshine, you need to tell me." Nico wrapped his arm around Daniel's shoulders. Daniel was still shaking, he felt too cold to stop.

Daniel turned and clumsily climbed onto Nico's lap, wrapping his arms around Nico's neck. Nico wrapped a protective arm around Dan's waist. Just holding him while he shoke, he was still cold. His hands felt like ice cubes to Nico's neck.

"Why are your hands so cold?" Nico couldn't help but ask.

"I put them in the freezer."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't deserve to be warm," He pulled his arms around nico tighter. "You feel so good, please don't hate me."

Nico's breath got caught in his throat. Hate Daniel? He couldn't if he tried. He could hate Daniel no matter what. Daniels all puppy dog eyes and gorgeous lips.

"Why would I hate you, doll?"

"I like that one."

"What one?"

"Doll, I like it when you call me doll." Daniel's voice sounded far less shaky than it did last time, a good improvement.

"I'll remember that for next time, doll. Why would I hate you?" Nico said, he smiled softly at Daniel.

"Because— you're so warm. Because I'm terrible, please don't hate me, I don't deserve you." Daniel said, he hiccuped a few times but he managed to get the sentence out.

"I don't hate you." Nico whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Nico loved Daniel. He didn't mind that he had to put up with the mood swings and the quick temper, it all worked out. Daniel was worth it all, he was worth so much more. Nico was lucky. Daniel is so double-sided that it's like dating two different people. But, Nico loves both of them. He puts up with it because Daniel is worth all of it. 


End file.
